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Chance encounters can change the whole direction of our lives. A casual chat with a stranger at the bank, a book that beckons to you from the shelf, or a last-minute lunch invitation might lead to transformative consequences.
This week, join Jungian analysts Lisa Marchiano, Joseph Lee and Deborah Stewart as we circumambulate the phenomenon of the chance encounter.
In Jungian psychology, these moments are more than happy accidents. They may be understood as encounters with the deeper ordering principle Jung called the Self, which disrupts the ego’s plans and invites us toward something larger.
In the episode, we discuss:
Moments that Change Lives
Many people can look back and identify a moment that changed everything. Deb shares a conversation with a stranger in line at the bank that unexpectedly led to a job opportunity. Lisa describes repeatedly encountering Linda Leonard’s On the Way to the Wedding, a book that helped set her on the path toward becoming a Jungian analyst.
History also offers many examples of chance encounters that reshape a life. When a young university student named Marie Louise von Franz accepted a last-minute invitation to lunch with Carl Jung, she took the first step on a path that led to one of the most fruitful intellectual partnerships of the twentieth century.
Being Open to the Chance Encounter
Chance encounters rarely arrive with dramatic fanfare, rather, they usually show up quietly, in the ordinary flow of life. The crucial question is whether we are receptive enough to recognize them.
In fairy tales and myths, such as The Diamonds and the Toads, the main character often encounters a mysterious messenger or helper along the road. If the heroine stops, listens and passes the implicit test, this encounter will open up a new path, rich with possibilities.
Frequently, these fairy tale encounters involve animals: a talking bird, a helpful wolf, or a persistent donkey. Marie Louise Von Franz suggested that we should understand such animals as representing instinctive aspects of the psyche. They are not merely tools or helpers that exist to serve the main character’s goals, they are visitations from a deeper layer of life.
Ego Orientation and Missing our Chance
Of course, not every chance encounter leads to transformation, because sometimes we may ignore or miss invitations.The ego organizes our lives around goals, plans, and socially recognized achievements. This orientation can be necessary and useful, but if we become too single-minded, we may overlook the subtle signals that suggest a change of direction.
Chance encounters interrupt the ego’s forward momentum, revealing that life is not entirely under the ego’s control. Instead, another center of meaning may be at work.
Jung expressed this idea memorably when he said that “God is the name by which I designate all things which cross my willful path violently and recklessly, all things which upset my subjective views, plans and intentions and change the course of my life for better or worse” (in Frederick Sands, “Why I Believe in God”, Good Housekeeping, pp.64, 138-41, December 1961).
When we repeatedly ignore the signals that point toward deeper meaning, life can gradually lose vitality. The psyche may then respond more forcefully, sometimes through symptoms, crises, or disruptive events that compel us to reconsider our path.
If you’re concerned this might apply to you, Joseph shares a simple practice. At the end of the day, reflect on one moment that surprised you. Imagine it as if it were part of a dream. What might it be asking you to notice? In this way, ordinary events of our daily lives can become part of a symbolic dialogue with the unconscious.
The Self as the Hidden Organizer
Jung used the term Self to describe the mysterious organizing center of the psyche. The Self often appears in dreams, symbols, and unexpected encounters that disrupt our conscious intentions. Chance encounters may represent moments when the Self asserts itself in the unfolding story of a life.
We can respond to these moments willingly, with curiosity and openness. Or we may resist them, sometimes until circumstances force us to reconsider our position.
As the poet Hafiz suggested, “we can come to God / dressed for Dancing / or / be carried on a stretcher / to God’s ward” (“A Divine Invitation”, by Hafiz).
Dreams and the Dialogue with the Unconscious
Dream work is one of the richest and most fruitful ways we can remain in dialogue with the unconscious. When we attend to our dreams and reflect on their symbolic meaning, we are already listening to the unconscious. In such cases, the psyche may not need to intervene as dramatically through outer events, and we may find ourselves experiencing fewer of these numinous chance encounters.
Here’s the Dream We Analyze
I was in a room, living in my parents’ house. In the room there was only a TV that was on, and a big bed. At some point, a donkey walks in, and I remember that I had a donkey. This donkey starts to talk, at which point I also remember he was a donkey that could talk. At first he was very friendly, witty, and charming, and I enjoyed talking with him, but I could tell that he had an agenda hidden behind a sinister smile. There was something he wanted, I could tell. We talked for a while and eventually I climbed in bed. He wanted to be in bed too so he climbed up to the bed. As I was falling asleep he started rolling around like a cat and I was worried that he would hit me with his hooves. So I pushed him over to the side and I told him to stay on that side of the bed but he kept rolling around making jokes, being playful and ignoring what I was asking. Then I told him if he didn’t stop he was going to go on the floor or I was going to put him in the bathroom.
At this point he became more aggressive. He started rolling closer to me and eventually we started wrestling. I was trying to hold his front legs and also hold his head so that he could not bite me or hit me, but he had his rear legs free to kick me, so it became very hard to contain him. Eventually, I put my hands on his mouth so he wouldn’t bite me. I was holding his jaw, and this way I could also control his body a little more effectively. I was using all my strength, and I could barely hold him off. Eventually, we rolled off the bed, and we continued wrestling on the floor. I was using all my strength, and I was impressed to see he wasn’t struggling at all; in fact, he was enjoying this match. While wrestling, I told the donkey, “tomorrow morning, I’m going to get a bridle so I can have better control of you.”
I wanted to be loud enough so my dad would come into the room and help me fight him off, but he never came in. Instead, my parents played music loudly outside the room, I’m guessing with the intention of drowning out the noise from my room. It was Christian music, and the chorus in the song was “Jesus Christ, give me strength.” The words of this song became very clear, and as I focused on the lyrics, I woke up from the dream with my entire body still clenched in the position I had been in the dream.
Resource List
- Read the “Diamonds and Toads” fairytale here.
- On the Way to the Wedding: Transforming the Love Relationship by Linda Leonard.
- Read the poem, “A Divine Invitation”, by Hafiz here.
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